


FreakingAwesome: The Space Blob Who Farts Wormholes

by jadelennox



Category: Ms. Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Female Character of Color, Meta, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 02:39:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4330677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadelennox/pseuds/jadelennox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"From a xenobiological point of view, she's not wrong," said Spider-Man, dangling from the ceiling of the spaceship's bridge. "The wormholes are actually coming out as part of the digestive process devouring all that dark matter--"</p><p>"It's <i>farting wormholes</i>, dudes," Jubilee crowed, but her eyes widened as her own hands both moved to cover her mouth. "Hmmmphh grrff mm mffff!" she yelped, as Karma moved up behind her.</p><p>"It's for your own good, Jubilee," whispered Karma in her ear. "Headmistress Storm is looking displeased."</p>
            </blockquote>





	FreakingAwesome: The Space Blob Who Farts Wormholes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fenellaevangela](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fenellaevangela/gifts).



Why I'm voting for "Space: the Gaseous Frontier" by AvengersVsAliens, and you should, too.

Author: CarolMonica4Ever  
Member since: August 19, 2011  
Notes of confidence: 492

Look, there's way too many amazing sequences in this piece for me to quote them all. I'm just going to have to take this fight sequence and throw it at all y'all, because you'll understand:

>   
>  "No, seriously, what's it been eating? Space beans?" Jubilee choked back a laugh.
> 
> Captain Marvel, who was piloting the ship, coughed, but nothing disturbed her perfect hair.
> 
> X-23 shot her a hard look. "It is an inappropriate time for this foolishness," she hissed at Jubilee. "Charon just fell through a wormhole and completely destabilized Pluto's orbit. You must take this seriously."
> 
> Jubilee slung an arm around X-23's shoulders. "Aw, come on now, Laura," she said. "Now it's just more obvious that Pluto is a real planet."
> 
> "That's not actually how science works," said Hank, but X-23 was melting against Jubilee's side.
> 
> "Besides," whispered Jubilee in X-23's ear. "I know you've already thought 29 different ways to kill the thing."
> 
> "Only 17," said X-23, looking ashamed. "And none of them will be successful, since I don't breathe vacuum."
> 
> "And that's why I acquired spacesuits," declared Storm, striding into the room, towering over them all on her amazing spiked heels. She tossed what looked like a fishbowl at X-23.
> 
> "Yo, don't I get one?" asked Jubilee, crossing her arms.
> 
> Storm ignored her. "You'll be going out with Logan. The two of you will make for its ... well, the opposite end from the side which is producing wormholes."
> 
> "You mean, not the butt," said Jubilee.
> 
> Storm raise one of her perfect eyebrows, and Jubilee wilted.
> 
> "From a xenobiological point of view, she's not wrong," said Spider-Man, dangling from the ceiling of the spaceship's bridge. "The wormholes are actually coming out as part of the digestive process devouring all that dark matter--"
> 
> "It's _farting wormholes_ , dudes," Jubilee crowed, but her eyes widened as her own hands both moved to cover her mouth. "Hmmmphh grrff mm mffff!" she yelped, as Karma moved up behind her.
> 
> "It's for your own good, Jubilee," whispered Karma in her ear. "Headmistress Storm is looking displeased."
> 
> "Yeah," said Captain Marvel, though she hadn't turned away from the dashboard. "Let's not have a rainstorm in the cockpit, mmmokay?"
> 
> "What's the Avenger even doing here?" asked Karma, her chin hooked over Jubilee's shoulder.
> 
> X-23 looked stonily at Karma, who backed rapidly away from Jubilee, her hands in the air. "Captain Marvel's efficiency in battle cannot be denied, and she has more experience with space-going vehicles than any of us. It would be impractical not to involve her expertise," said X-23.
> 
> "That, and I had to let the exterminator into my apartment. Roaches." Captain Marvel shuddered, but her attention never wavered as she piloted skillfully around the space blob.
> 
> Storm's lips quirked slightly, as she handed a white and silver suit over to X-23. "Suit up, Laura. We need to hurry. Now that the space blob has left the Oort Cloud, Earth's solar system is in more danger than ever."
> 
> With her characteristic efficiency, X-23 slipped into the bulky suit. With a chime, the bridge door slid open once more. Wolverine entered, kitted out like Neil Armstrong in a shiny astronaut suit with a clear bowl covering his head. 
> 
> "Ready to go, Bub?" he asked, coming up behind them. "We ain't got that much time."
> 
> Spidey dropped to the floor, somehow looking concerned through his mask. "How will you two claw it through those things?" he asked pointing at the shiny gloves.
> 
> With a _SNIKT_ , Wolverine popped out his claws to a millimeter past Spidey's nose. "Modified suit, webhead. Don't you think 'Roro would have thought of that?"
> 
> He turned to X-23, nudging her hard enough that another girl probably would have been knocked over. "Time for some asskicking, kid."
> 
> "Logan ..." Storm began, and then petered off. 
> 
> He turned toward her, then stepped away from X-23. "Give me one sec, Bub," he tossed back to her over his shoulder. He slipped into the corner with Storm at his side.
> 
> "Hey, 'Roro." he said, softly. "I'll be fine. Always am, right, kid?"
> 
> She leaned forward gently, bending down so her for head rested against the glass dome of his spacesuit. "It does not mean I will not worry, Logan," she whispered, holding his gaze through the glass. "I will always worry about you."
> 
> "That's why I've got the healing factor, babe," he said, grasping her hands in his gloved ones. "So I can always come back to you."
> 
> She gazed at him, her eyes white. "There's no weather in space," she said. "And yet I feel like I'm holding back the lightning right now."
> 
> Behind them, through the spaceship's viewscreen, a sunstorm glowed green and gold.  
> 

See what I mean? Go, read the whole story! I can't get over how awesome it is! And everyone should go send some love to AVA, because I get the impression from their tumblr that they're having a rough time.


End file.
